Imagine if
by Esperwen
Summary: Random blerbs about how the characters of Naruto would be in different worlds or situations. Will update in my spare time/when I'm bored.
1. Our world

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto, any characters affiliated...and I'm too lazy to think up anything else that I don't own. But I'm _not_ too lazy to look up what Shikamaru says in Japanese...(opens other internet browser)

A/N: This is me, rambling along, because I was bored and I didn't want to study. Nuke, if you're reading this, I want the material for our sequel! ARGH! (writer's block...angst...)

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So I was just sitting here, studiously not doing homework, when a thought occurred to me: "What if they were in our world?" Better yet...in the lovely city. I mean, our world doesn't have chakra and shinobi, and all that fun stuff, so how would they manage? 

Ok, for starters, Naruto would _not_ be so peppy. If he were just some random orphan kid on the street, he'd either be in juvie already for delinquency, or simply another angsty kid on the block. Hm...unless Konohamaru was really his brother, and Sarutobi was really his grandfather. Then they'd live in a big mansion somewhere, because Sarutobi-sama would be president. ...or something. And then Naruto's life dream would be to become "PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES! THEN NO-ONE WILL LOOK DOWN ON ME AGAIN!"

Konohamaru would probably be bullied in school because of his long name. Then, either Big Brother Naruto would come in and intervene, or the bullies would just get tired of chanting "Konohamaru" and leave. (Come on...'Konohamaru'? Five syllables? Please.)

Sasuke and his brother Itachi would be interesting. Sasuke, the all-angsty, would have two groups in school that monitored his every move: one would absolutely _luv_ him, and the other would absolutely _hate_ him. Group A would be all swoony and, "Oh, he's so good at everything!", while Group B would be all, "Big, arrogant jerk..." Group B would also be the larger group; after all, some girls (and guys...eeh...) from Group A would snap out of it and see the truth. Or get shut down.

Itachi...I always wonder why the ANBU haven't caught him yet. But I guess he's just that good. So if he were in our world, (1) he'd always be on the run, (2) he'd be breaking hearts right and left, in every country, (3) he'd single-handedly raise the world's crime rate by...oh, I don't know...about 10, and (4) ...yeah, I got nothing. Four just seemed like a nice, rounded number.

And many people's (I can't say everyone's) favourite cherry blossom: Sakura. Future model? Most likely. Or a nurse; nurses tend to be good-looking. In school? Prom queen, social butterfly, school president...definitely. And constantly rivalling against Ino, who would be runner-up, other social butterfly, vice prez...and other campaigner for the school's heartthrob: Sasuke (duh. Who did you expect?) Which one of them do you expect would be president of Group A? Or maybe Group A has two sub-groups: Forehead and Boar.

Where would Kakashi be? Good question; somehow I can see him as a dude that works in Chapters or a library or something. It must be that hentai book he always lugs around. Either that, or a professional athelete; he'd be good at anything. (gasp) or an Abercrombie and Fitch model! Or the face of the FBI! He's just that cool; Kakashi could be anything, so long as it were cool.

Let's think...who else...I've already mentioned Ino...so how about Chouji? ...Chouji's special. The random 'pleasantly plump' person on the block, perhaps? Would he be teased in school as a kid? Probably. But then Shikamaru would walk in and help out in his own passive way. Chouji would probably end up as top wrestler in his school though...

Shikamara would probably drop out of high school. Why? Because he skipped so many classes. I can just see him lying on a picnic bench just off of school property, staring at clouds, instead of inside, learning about the joys of math. Unless he only came into class to do tests and things...and actually wrote the tests. Then he'd pass. Maybe he'd just be homeschooled...and end up skipping that too.

Asuma is the type of guy I can see working in a bar, either as a bouncer, or a bartender. It might just be the cigar, or it might be just me. Oh! And Kurenai could be a waitress! ...Or a model. And then there could be this totally clichéd thing about them meeting in a bar...but it would still be romantic. Or at least cute.

Speaking of cute, Hinata would not be stepped on in school. No. Some really nice guys in school would notice her, and stop that from happening. Or she'd meet a lot of kind friends because Hinata's so special like that. Why did no-one notice her in Konoha! The injustice of it all!

Heh...and Kiba would eventually grow up to be the crazy dog man who chases kids of his property. Not that I have a problem with Kiba; it's just so imaginable. He'd end up as a sort of punk though...with a pack of Rottweilers and Pit bulls as his gang. All of them are perfectly trained, of course; he would only let them attack to save Hinata. Because I like Hinata.

Shino...It's hard to say with this guy. We all know he's a bug-user, so it'd be kind of weird if he didn't have them. He'd end up as either some kind of bug nerd, or this really cool, mysterious dude that examines bugs as a past-time hobby. Probably the latter. For all you people with the ShinoXKiba stuff...I shake my fist at you.

The sound triplets...now _they_ would be really out of place in our world.

Gaara, for example...he wouldn't be Gaara without his sand; he'd end up being some random guy stuck in the mental set that he's a little kid that wants to play in the sandbox all day. ...and will kill anybody who tries to share with him...

Temari would look really odd walking around with that giant fan. She might be an actress or dancer or something along those lines; most of her money would probably go to funding Gaara.

Kankurou, though I shudder to say it, would end up being the type of guy that loves kids; he'd be nothing like the boy in the manga/anime. Why? Isn't it obvious? The _puppets_! The puppets are everything! Can't you see it? Kankurou doing little puppet shows for kindergarteners!

Lee and Gai would have to be together _(not_ shounen-ai...) If they were separated in our world, both would probably die of incompletion or something. I can't decide if they'd be pro wrestlers, or the ultimate sport jocks, but I do know that Gai would be Lee's beloved trainer. The only problem, is that many a spy would be watching them, wondering if they were doing drugs to get so insanely strong.

Tenten would be the ultimate superspy. She could summon all of her materials, tools, weapons and such, and she'd be able to hack into anywhere with her crazy skills. Can't you see her as a superspy? Because _I_ can.

And Neji would be her partner! He'd still have his Byakugan, and he'd be able to scout out the area and such for Superspy Tenten.

...if anything, Shikamaru is the most normal. 'Nuff said.

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A/N: So...how many readers did I lose? ...MENDOKUSE! _That's_ what Shikamaru says! And 'mendokusai' is when he's describing something as troublesome. 'Mendokuse' is just the term like, "Bleh..." or something. 


	2. Animals

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto, any characters affiliated, or any of the animal mentioned.

So now we imagine if they all were animals...

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Naruto would (naturally) be a fox. And a foxy fox at that...I DID NOT JUST SAY THAT! ...Yeah, since he has the Kyuubi in him, it's hard to imagine him as anything else. But if he weren't a fox, he'd be a puppy. He's hyperactive, cute (c'mon, he's got blonde hair and baby blue eyes!), knows how to get through to people, and is determined to be the center of attention! And by center of attention, I mean he doesn't want to be ignored!

Sakura is a flower. Because that's what 'Sakura' means: 'cherry blossom'. ...wait, a flower isn't an animal. Stupid Sakura...I mean...(shifty eyes). She would be a horse. Why? Ok, horses are a little bit shy at first (which Sakura used to be), but once they get to know you, they'll knock you down with their insane strength if you do something stupid (She gets insanely strong when she grows up. Trust me.). But horses, after all that, like helping people. And Sakura does too.

Sasuke is a wolf! A very attractive silver and black-furred wolf with blue highlights. And a lone wolf, at that. A wolf with major attacking and pwnage skills that tends to stay alone. ...And he's a gay wolf...whoops, did I say that out loud?

Kakashi would be a wolf too. But sexier, cooler, more skilled, not gay, and on all counts better than Sasuke. Or a snake. Because snakes are sexy...ish. Just a really sexy animal. A sexy beast! Hah! I crack myself up...

I see Shino as a praying mantis. A bug, but a dangerous bug at that, who pretty much lords over all the other bugs. A bug with no emotions (that we can see), who has serious killing skills. Now, how can we get a giant praying mantis that will eat the lone wolf?

Hinata would be cute...and shy...A BUNNY! Hinata, you are now a bunny with white eyes. Wait, but Hinata's going to be really strong when she grows up...SHE'LL BE BUNNICULA! Hinata, you are now Bunnicula.

Kiba is a dog. End of story. Bye-bye, see you later.

Kurenai would be a birdie. A pretty birdie. Why? Because I say so, that's why.

Shikamaru is definitely a cat-ish type of person. He sleeps all day, and if he didn't have someone to order him around, he'd never get anything done. Ever notice that when cats do something that you tell them to do, they act as if it was no big deal? That's Shikamaru! And cats are actually pretty clever.

Ino is a boar! 'Ino' means 'boar'! AHAHAHAHA!...eheh...hah...heh...eh...Ok, not that funny. Honestly, I see her more as a butterfly.

Chouji is a butterfly! 'Chou' means 'butterfly'! AHAH-...ok, I'll quit while I'm ahead. I'd say a pig, but that just sounds mean. So I'll say he'd be a boar instead. Chouji, Ino, switch names.

Ok, technically I should be saying Shikamaru is a deer, since 'shika' means 'deer', and deer run from trouble. But still. I like the cat better.

Asuma would be a birdie. Because he used brass knuckles with the 'swallow technique' or something. Aw...he and Kurenai are lovebirds...aw...so cute...

Gaara is a badger! Badgers like attacking things. Makes sense, no? His demon is supposed to be something with dark eyes, or something...Ok, could someone tell me if it's a badger or a panda or a raccoon, or whatever?

Temari is a cat! She summons cats, she's a cool cat (ahaha...), I want Temari to be a cat! Rah! Don't mess with me!

Kankurou is an ant, because one of his favourite puppets to use is called 'black ant'. Not Kurasu, that's 'crow'. ...well, Kankurou _could_ be a crow. ...yeah, crow works better. Kankurou, you're a crow!

Lee: GREEN TURTLE!

Gai: BIGGER GREEN TURTLE!

Tenten is a porcupine! Fear its deadly needles! Or a falcon; fear its deadly talons! Fear Tenten! All must fear Tenten!

Neji is an eagle. A free eagle. A majestic eagle. An angsty, majestic eagle. Ok, so Neji changes from angsty to just serious after the chuunin exam. But I can't help still seeing him as angsty.

...AND I AM A COW OF DOOM! DOOM! DOOMY, DOOMY DOOM COW!


	3. Deities

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto, any characters affiliated, and some of the ideas here. My friend and I were bored and started thinking these up.

A/N: Hey! If you're reading this, good for you! If you plan on reviewing, kudos to you too! And if you want to write a fanfic based on the ideas here, go ahead! Just tell me ahead of time so that I can read your fanfic, and make sure you give me some kind of honourable mention somewhere. Thanks!

Now we shall be discussing if the Naruto characters were deities (gods) of some sort.

The Third Hokage would be like Zeus or Jupiter; he would _have_ to be the leader. I honestly can't see him taking orders from anybody else.

Tsunade would be the Goddess of Wine and Gambling, and Shizune would be her companion, the Demi-Goddess of Hangovers. That's how their personalities would be; Tsunade would be causing drunken havoc and gambling, while Shizune would be following faithfully behind her, trying to help solve all the problems that Tsunade was causing.

Naruto would be the Mischievious God. He would cause tricks and problems for everyone, simply for the fun of it. He'd also be slightly looked down upon by the other deities, but that's ok because he'd also be one of the strongest. Oh, and Konohamaru, Moegi and Udon would be his faithful minions.

Itachi would be something along the lines of the God of Death. For obvious reasons (come on, the guy killed his family!).

Sasuke would be the God of Vengeance. Silent and mysterious, all who wanted justice on their lost loved ones would call on Sasuke (is this heresy? I'm only pretending; I'm not believing it...).

Sakura would be the Goddess of Healing. Remember, when she grows up, her healing skills are extremely well developed.

Kakashi would be the God of Sexy. I think we can all agree that Kakashi is very attractive; even if you don't think he's the hottest, everyone knows that Kakashi is sexy.

Shikamaru would be a God of Tactics and Thought. Or the Slothful God. Or the God of Deer.

Ino would be the Goddess of Beauty and/or Guardianship. I say this, because she tries her best to be pretty (annoying at times, but true), and she was Sakura's 'guardian' when they were little kids. Also, in chapters after the timeskip, Asuma knows that she's strong and can take care of herself; he wants her to watch over Shikamaru and Chouji too.

Chouji would be the Guardian of Children; he's the gentlest guy in the manga, and the most patient. And I think he has a way with kids; they all seemed to listen to him in that filler episode.

Asuma would be the God of War; he just seems to be the most typical rugged, war-hardened fighter.

Kurenai would be the Goddess of Love; personally, I like her better than all the other women in the manga, since she seems more normal. She also was really caring to Hinata. And I still think that she and Asuma are a good match!

Kiba would be the God of Dogs, or the God of Bravery. Honestly, Kiba strikes me as the fiercest; when he thought he was about to die against Sakon and Udon, he didn't cry or look afraid; he simply looked the enemy in the eye, and _smiled._

Shino would be the God of Mystery; he's just that enigmatic of a character. He may also be the God of Insects.

Hinata would be the Goddess of Peace; she doesn't enjoy fighting, but I think when she grows up, she overcomes her fear and is able to fight for a good cause. She probably would only fight if it were to solve a huge problem.

Gaara is the God of Fear and Loneliness; knowing his past, it's to be expected of him. Whether he invokes the fear and loneliness or protects people from it is your choice.

Temari is the Goddess of Dance; I've still got that idea that her fan is a dancing prop. And she's pretty.

Kankurou is hard to say; he deals with puppets, so thinking of something is difficult. It's hard to explain, but maybe a God of Control or Politics, since you pull strings to handle puppets, just as politicians 'pull strings' on people.

Lee and Gai (together again) would be Gods of YOUTH and Sportsmanship. Enough said.

Neji would be the God of Wisdom and Understanding, since he wouldn't have been all angsty if he had just explained his position as a branch house member.

Tenten would probably work with Asuma as a Goddess of Weapons. Or maybe just a Goddess of Warfare; Asuma provides the war, but Tenten provides the means to fight.


End file.
